Static
by lokigurl
Summary: "It's more than a bad day and feeling lonely. It's about us. It always has been."


Title: Static Author: loki Email Address: banky@hotbot.com, loki_vb@hotmail.com Rating: R Category: Michael/Maria - but the others show up as well Summary: Distribution: my site (http://www.frontiernet.net/~apascale) and anywhere that's been archiving my stuff. otherwise, just ask! Disclaimer: Michael, Maria and the rest of them don't belong to me. Not in the slightest. They are belong to the WB and a bunch of other folks. Author's Notes: This, like all my Roswell fics, would be nothing without willa, my beta-goddess. 

Maria DeLuca made a wide turn into the empty parking space, narrowly missing the rearview mirror of the next car. She raised her sunglasses to survey the situation. Quickly deciding that that the two minutes to the late bell were of more potential detriment than the inconvenience of her neighbors, she turned off the car and squeezed out the door. 

There were few people milling about outside the school. Most were rushing hurriedly for the doors, while a few stayed still savoring the final drags off their cigarettes. Maria took a mental inventory of her backpack and flew past her locker towards class. This would be the third time this week she'd slip into history late, and that always equaled detention. The way that her day was already going, she didn't need it to last a moment longer. 

Just as the final bell rang, Maria slid into the room. Rolling her eyes at Liz, she grabbed an empty seat in the back. Liz turned around and cocked an eyebrow quizzically. Maria simply waved her hand and mouthed, 'I'll tell you later,' then smiled sweetly up at Ms. Montgomery who had already begun shooting her daily glare towards her. 

*** "That woman hates me!" Maria moaned to her best friend as they walked down the hall. 

"Yes, yes. So... what happened? You seem even more frazzled than usual." Liz said, ignoring the dramatic outburst. 

"Thanks." Maria scoffed. She reached into the side pocket of her bag and pulled out a small vial. "Actually, I do. I know. I was getting ready this morning, and guess who stopped by? Valenti. Can you believe it?" Opening the container, Maria inhaled deeply. "A little better. Anyway, he barely spoke to me, but he kept *staring.* You know, in that way he does? It creeped me out. Plus... Mom and him." She shuddered. "They were talking for, like, an hour. I just don't like it." 

"Ooooh... What's this?" Alex appeared out of nowhere and ripped the bottle from Maria's hands. "Cypress Oil. Someone must have had a rough morning. What's up?" 

Grabbing the bottle back, Maria glared at Alex. "Mom. The usual. But worse." 

It had only been over the last couple of years that Maria had really spoken to Liz and Alex about her mother and her relationships. While there was no secret that Maria was raised by a single mom, she tended to keep her opinions and feelings about everything close to her heart. Nothing was ever all that stable, and it seemed as if Amy DeLuca was always looking for something that would never come through. It wasn't as if they were abusive relationships, but rather a row of dead-end streets. And her mother never seemed to be able to see that big warning sign at the beginning of each one. By the time she was twelve, Maria was used to fixing her own meals and falling asleep before her mother got home from her dates. It wasn't until one night when she was absolutely terrified to be home alone that she invited Liz and Alex over and spilled everything. However, even with everything that had happened between all of them, Maria still wasn't completely comfortable going into all the intimate details. 

"Worse?" Alex asked, looking at Maria, then to Liz. 

"Valenti." Liz answered quietly. 

The boy's eyes popped open. "Wow. That's harsh. I know you said that they went on some date... but. Wow." 

Maria nodded. "Yeah. It just sucks. Can you even imagine if they started dating - for real? Ugh. I just can't even think about it." 

"If they got married, you'd be related to Kyle," Liz said with a horrified look on her face. 

"Thanks." Maria grumbled, closing her eyes. "You two really know how to make me feel better." 

Alex placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just... Valenti." 

"Valenti? What happened?" Max walked up next to Alex. 

"He was at Maria's house this morning." Liz blurted out. 

Maria shot her a look of death. She knew that Max would then ask what he was doing there, and she'd have to tell him. That he wanted to date her mother. 

"Oh. What did you say? Did he ask about us again?" Max stared deeply into Maria's eyes. She could feel his concern - but it wasn't for her. And while she knew her feelings were selfish, today Maria just didn't feel like centering her attention on the Alien trio. 

"NO!" Maria yelled, drawing the attention of some students passing by. "Not everything revolves around you," she added, a little more quietly. Taking a long look at the three of them, she shook her head. "I have to get to study hall." She angrily stomped off towards the library. 

*** 

Opening to a random page in her Spanish book, Maria leaned her head against her fist. All the words seemed to jumble together, so she started flipping through to see if there were any pictures. Anything to get her mind off of the image of her mother and Sheriff Valenti in her kitchen. Smiling. Laughing. Well, her mother was actually giggling, and that was simply disturbing. She turned the next page with indignation. 

"Whoa, be careful there. You might actually damage school property." 

Maria looked up to see Michael turn a chair and sit down across from her. "No, I didn't say anything, okay?" 

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and inched closer. "Uh, did I interrupt some mental conversation that you were having?" 

"You came here to make sure I didn't say anything, right? Max sent you?" She asked. 

He shook his head. "Nope. Haven't seen Maxmillian yet. I just got in a little while ago. Wasn't quite in the mood to face up to the wonderful world of phys ed - so I thought I'd hide here." 

"Oh." Maria said, a little embarrassed. 

Michael smirked. "So, you didn't say anything? And who were you non-verbal with?" 

Maria closed the book and placed her elbows on the table. "Valenti. He came over to see my mom." 

"Ah. That sucks." 

"Yeah." 

Maria traced along the deep ridge in the table with her fingernail. Her whole body was deflated, and it seemed to be from more than Valenti being in her house. Michael watched her for a little while, then pressed his hand down on hers to keep it from moving. 

"Let's get out of here," he said. 

Maria eyed him suspiciously. "What do you mean?" 

"The donut place. Let's go get donuts. Fried things are good. I think Max has an extra bottle of Tabasco sauce in his jeep." He let his hand up a little, then ran his index finger over the smooth skin of Maria's wrist. 

Maria shivered a bit from his touch, then relaxed. "Okay, but I have to be back by fourth period. I have a quiz, and I can't miss it. I'm not doing so well, and I..." 

"Yeah, yeah... c'mon," Michael groaned. He stood up and pushed the chair back in. "First Max's car. Then you drive." 

Taking a quick look around the room with a mischievous grin, Maria jumped up and followed him out. 

*** "Good?" 

Maria scooped up another fingerful of raspberry jelly and nodded. 

"See," Michael said, swallowing the last bite of his donut. "I told you. Fried food is a good thing." He opened another packet and spread the contents on a new donut. There weren't able to find anything in Max's Jeep, so he had to make do with some leftover Taco Bell hot sauce packets in Maria's car. 

"Oh God," she said, watching him take another bite. It was his third donut - each more doused than the one before. "That is just... wrong. No one should eat like that. No one should have to watch you eat like that, either." 

"ME?" Michael mumbled through a mouth full of glazed goodness. "Look at you. You eat that like you've just returned from some ferocious kill. Ripping apart and squeezing all the innards out. That jelly donut must have put up quite a fight to deserve such treatment," he winked at her. 

Maria wrinkled her nose and meticulously licked the remnants of jelly off her fingers. Noticing the sudden attention that her innocent act had evoked in the boy sitting across from her, Maria decided to see how far she could push him. Starting with her index finger, she parted her lips and gently glided it into her mouth. Then staring pointedly at Michael, she slowly slid it back down. His eyes would follow the same cycle - lips, fingers, eyes, lips, fingers, eyes. She felt a childish glee in knowing that he was at her mercy, if only for a moment. That for one, albeit brief, moment, she held the control in the situation. Watching his rhythmic breathing get heavier and heavier, Maria licked the tip of the last finger. 

"I like things that put up a fight." 

Michael gulped. He took a long sip of milk and tried unsuccessfully to hide the coughing fit that followed. "Yeah, well, we should probably get back to school." 

*** "Maria, I am *so* sorry," Liz said, grabbing her arm. " I shouldn't have said anything." 

"It's okay," Maria laughed. "Really. I'm feeling much better now. Now that I'm thrilled about the Valenti sitch, but I can deal. For now." 

"That's great! What brought on this sudden change?" Liz asked cheerfully. 

"Well, I went to the library for study hall, and I ran into Michael there - " 

"Oh no! Maria, you didn't!" 

Maria felt insulted. She couldn't believe Liz. Did she really think that Michael would be able to entice her into the eraser room so easily? "It's not what you think." 

"More? Oh God." 

Anger quickly joined with insolence. 'She thinks I slept with him! My *best* friend!' Maria pushed Liz across the hall, into a crevice between a classroom door and the neighboring lockers. "Well, I guess I can tell you this. But you have to swear not to tell anyone." Liz nodded. "Michael and I ~" She stopped and looked around to see if anyone was listening in. "We had ~" She put her hands on Liz's shoulders and pressed down. "We had ~" She watched as Liz's anticipation grew and dropped her voice even lower. "We had... donuts!" She whispered breathlessly, hurriedly. Maria stepped back and smoothed her dress down. 

Liz slid down the wall a bit and furrowed her eyebrows. "Donuts? Is that some kind of code?" 

Maria laughed and tugged at the brunette's chin. "Oh, Liz. If you weren't my best friend..." She laughed again and walked down the hallway. 

Alex walked over to a stunned Liz watching Maria walk away. "What's up with her?" 

"Donuts." 

"Donuts?" 

"Yup, donuts." 

*** "So, she said that they had donuts." Max turned onto the main road that ran past the school. "Couldn't that just mean that they went and ate donuts?" 

"Oh, no." Liz shook her head. "She was too happy. And you saw her this morning. Maria was not in an 'I can be easily cheered up' mode. Who gets that happy after 'donuts'?" 

Max smiled. "Michael. Michael loves donuts, the more hot sauce the better. He probably just figured that since it always made him feel better, it might work for her." 

"You think?" Liz watched the scenery speed by. Listening to Max, everything seemed to make a little more sense. 'How could I be so stupid? Of course it was only donuts. Maria is the last person to make a mistake like that. Especially when she's upset about her mother.' Liz rubbed her eyes and sighed. "It was just donuts, wasn't it?" 

Laughing, Max pulled up in front of the Crashdown. "That's what I think. But feel free to ask Michael. I'm sure that he'll have some interesting answer." Liz simply groaned in response. 

*** Maria dropped her backpack on the kitchen counter and headed over to the refrigerator. The trek to the donut shop had filled her up for most of the day, but now she was craving real, non-sugar laced food. She opened the door and reached in for the milk, then grabbed a box of cereal from the top cabinet. After getting everything together, she positioned herself in front of the television for some quality veg time. 

"Oh, honey, you're home already. I thought you had to work." Amy DeLuca walked in with several grocery bags in her arms. 

"Nope. It's Tuesday. I never work on Tuesdays." Maria took another bite of Grape Nuts. 

Struggling with the bags, Amy wobbled through the living room into the kitchen. "That's right. I forgot. Hmmm..." 

Sensing something not quite right about her mother's tone, Maria lowered the volume and called into the other room. "Hmmmm? Hmmm... what?" 

"Well," her mother stood at the doorframe with an uncomfortable smile. "I kind of invited someone over for dinner." 

"Someone?" 

"Um, Jim. Valenti. You remember him, dear. Kyle's dad." 

Maria stared at her mother in disbelief. "You invited Sheriff Valenti over for dinner." 

"Yeah," Amy nodded. "I, um, figured that since we were always getting interrupted when we went out... well, maybe it would be better if we just stayed in." She started to fidget with her hands. "But, it'll be okay. You can join us. It'll be... fun." 

"I don't think so." Maria looked away from her mother and raised the volume on the television. 

*** 

Stretching out on her bed, Maria stared up at the glow in the dark stars she had put up years ago. Not that they were glowing yet, dusk was just approaching and her room was still filled with more than enough light to see by. The cypress oil worked this morning, but it didn't have much of an effect now. She looked over at the clock next to her. It was 6:30pm. Valenti would be there in half an hour. Somehow, she had to find a way not to be in the house when the clock struck seven. 

Rolling over, she sat up and looked out the window. Maybe she'd go and rent a movie, then hide in her room all night. 'That won't work - I'll still know that they are here, together, doing God knows what.' Maria pulled on her boots and grabbed a sweater. Tying it around her waist, she bounded down the stairs and picked up the keys on the hook by the door. "Bye Mom - I'll be back later." 

Amy came out of the kitchen to respond, but her daughter was already gone. She shrugged her shoulders and went back to making dinner. 

*** 

Liz was concentrating on the intricate graph that she needed to finish for her biology report. Max was typing everything up, so she felt that the least she could do was to draw up the three charts. The first one took about seven drafts, and the second took about five. She was determined to finish this last one in less than three. 'I might get to be a great scientist, but an artist I'll never be.' 

"SO!" Maria whipped open the door. "Mom and Valenti are having some kind of 'thing' at my house tonight. I just had to get out. How do you want to cheer me up?" 

Watching her hand slip from the perfect line she was drawing, Liz looked up and shot a painful dagger at her best friend. "Cheer you up? I have been doing this for almost four hours. I was almost finished with the last one. Now I have to start all over, and it will take me at least another hour to get all the information into this damn thing." 

"I'm sorry. Did I make you ~" 

"Yes. Yes, you did." Liz spat out. Seeing the hurt look on her friend's face, she softened. "I'm sorry, Maria. I'm just really frustrated. This is part of my midterm grade, and it feels like I'm never going to get this done. You'd think she'd let us do it on the computer, but no. She just *has* to make my life harder." Liz sighed. "If it was *any* other night... you know that I would do whatever I could to make you happy. But, I just... I really need to finish this. I'm sorry." 

Maria nodded. "No problem. I'll go and find something else. Alex or something. Don't worry." She smiled, hoping that Liz couldn't tell how desperate she was. 

"Thanks." Liz didn't. "Call me later. I'm sure I'll be up." She pulled out another clean sheet of paper. 

Maria walked out backwards and closed the door. 

*** 

"Hey Alex, Isabel!" Maria plopped herself down in their booth in the Crashdown. "What are you guys up to tonight?" 

The two exchanged an awkward look. "Just talking. You know, and eating." Alex answered. 

"Ahh... well, I guess that's what you would do at a diner. Eat. And talk." Maria kept bobbing her head. 

Isabel finished saturating her fries in Tabasco sauce, then leaned in towards Maria. "Do you *need* something?" 

From Isabel's tone, Maria realized that she had probably interrupted something. Again. She smiled, and shook her head. "No," she said softly. "I just wanted to say hi. I'm going now. See you tomorrow." Maria stood up and left the diner. 

*** 

Maria turned the corner behind Liz's house and walked over to her car. She put the key in the door, then paused. Where could she go now? All her fallbacks were used up, and there was nowhere else to turn. By now it had grown much darker, and there was very little light coming from the street. Crawling on top of her hood, the girl leaned back against the windshield and stared up at the sky. 

"What? Waiting to be abducted or something?" 

Maria sat straight up and looked around for the source of the voice. Michael slowly sauntered towards her car. "You like to do that, don't you?" 

"Do what?" He smirked. 

"Pop up when I least expect you. Skulk around." She sneered. 

"I don't skulk." 

"It's dark, it's late and you're in an alley behind some buildings. I would call that skulking." 

He sat on the corner of the hood. "So, I'm skulking. Fine. What are you doing out this late, just sitting here having some strange guy skulk around you? Don't you have a nice warm bed?" 

Maria rubbed her arms briskly. "Yeah, but no. My house is kind of... occupied at the moment. So I'm trying to stay away." 

"I can understand that. More Mom stuff?" 

"Yeah." 

Michael nodded. He knew exactly what it was like to just want to be somewhere else, anywhere else. He pretty much felt like that every night. "Well, what do you want to do?" 

"There's nothing to do. Everyone is busy, and I just keep intruding and feeling like a jerk." Maria felt the tears begin to well up and closed her eyes to keep them from falling. "That's why I'm here. Alone." 

"C'mon," Michael said, sliding off the car. "Let's go somewhere." 

"Oh no - no more donuts. I couldn't take another sugar coma right now." She said, not moving. 

He walked around to the other side of the car. "No sugar, I promise. Gimme the keys - I'll drive." 

Maria handed him the keys and jumped down next to him. Even after the 285 fiasco, she always trusted him with her mother's car. There was something comforting about sitting back and letting him drive. She got in the passenger's side and pulled the seatbelt across her. The car was already on, and Michael was fiddling with the radio. 

"Ready?" 

"Yup." 

"Okay then." The car quickly peeled out of the small lot and took off. 

*** "So, where are we again?" Maria pulled on her sweater and ran to catch up with Michael. They had been driving for a while when he'd suddenly parked on the side of the road and gotten out. 

"There," he pointed to some barely visible location. 

Maria stood still and tried to make out her surroundings. The moon was barely visible and what little light there was came from the stars above. "Where? I can't see anything. Where are you taking me?" She watched him walk away from her and into the darkness. "Michael, don't leave me! I don't know where I am!" 

The crunching of his footsteps stopped. "Hurry up, then." 

She scurried along in the direction that she last saw him go, but he was nowhere to be seen. Turning around slowly, her eyes tried to adjust to the dark. "Michael?" she cried out timidly. Something grabbed her by the waist and Maria shrieked. She spun around to find Michael standing behind her. "You bastard!" she yelled, beating on his chest. "How could you do that to me?" 

"Shh..." He placed his finger to her mouth. "We don't want to attract any attention. There's quite a few hungry things out here." He could feel her terror rise sharply. "Don't worry. We're almost there. Just a couple more yards, we'll be fine." Michael took her hand and pulled her nearly immobile body towards their destination. 

"We're here," he announced. 

"What is it?" Maria asked skeptically. She still wasn't sure where he had brought her. 

"It's a rock." 

"A rock." She repeated flatly. 

Michael nodded. "Yep. Sit down." 

"Sit down. On a rock. You drove me all the way out here to sit on a rock." Maria shook her head in amazement. 

"You catch on quick, huh?" The boy leaned against the large boulder. 

Pressing her hands into her temples, she tried to comprehend what Michael's plan was. "What am I supposed to be doing on a rock in the middle of nowhere?" 

"Sitting down, shutting up and looking at the stars." He climbed up and sat down. 

Maria remained on the ground with her hands on her hips. "This is ridiculous. I'm going home." 

"Suit yourself," Michael replied, staring up. "Go back to the car if you can find it. And good luck getting home - I do believe that the keys are in my pocket. Up here." 

Maria snorted, then looked back towards the way they had come. The truth was, she had no idea which way to go. Indignantly, she climbed up next to Michael. It was surprisingly comfortable, as if over time the rain and wind had eroded the stone to create some sort of reclining chair. She relaxed and looked up at the stars. 

"So~" she began. 

"Shh..." 

"But~" She tried again. 

"Shh..." 

'Oh God, can this get any worse? On top of everything else, I'm stuck in the middle of who-knows-where with Mute Boy.' Maria buttoned her sweater and pulled her knees up to her chest. After a little while, acceptance began to settle in. The more she concentrated on each individual star, the more her anger dissipated. She noticed her breathing had truly calmed down for the first time all day. And she listened to the rhythmic breaths of the boy next to her. Maria blushed to herself. Aside from being acutely aware of his breath on her neck in the diner and the eraser room, she had never really paid any attention to Michael... breathing. But she'd done it twice today. She giggled inaudibly at her boldness from the afternoon. 

"What?" Michael asked. 

"Nothing," Maria chuckled. 

"Tell me." His usual disinterested tone failed him. 

"You won't talk to me, and now you want to know what I'm laughing about? Nope." 

"C'mon." He poked her lightly in the ribs. 

No longer trying to stifle her laughter, Maria started to shake. "Nope. You don't get to know." 

"Fine." Michael moved an inch closer towards her, so that their shoulders were touching. "It's good to hear you laugh, though." 

His admission had the power to make her uncontrollable laughter cease. "Really?" she asked in wonder. 

"Yeah." He answered softly. 

The two sat silently for a few more minutes. "Want to go back?" Michael pulled up his feet and started to tie one of his shoes. 

"Sure." Maria nodded, still smiling. 

*** They pulled into the driveway and parked next to the Sheriff's truck. Neither of them made a move to get out, they just stared at the truck. "He's still here." Michael stated flatly. 

"Yes, 'Mr. State-the-Obvious,' he's still here." Maria got out of the car and slammed the door. She stood up and stretched her arms across the hood. Michael got out and walked over to her side. He ran his finger down her back. 

"Hey." 

"Look, you don't have to stay. You've already done enough tonight." She didn't look at him. 

Michael cocked his head at her. "I'm not going anywhere... unless you want me to. Do you want me to?" 

Maria rolled against the car and faced him. She fixed her attention on the ground. "No." 

"Okay." 

She felt the angry, upset breathing return. All the calm from less than an hour before rushed out of her. Maria scrunched up her face and started inhaling rapidly. "I just don't understand. I've never been able to understand." She looked up into Michael's face. Shrugging her shoulders, she went on. "I know it's stupid, I know it's selfish. All my life - I just could never understand why they were always so much more important. She loves me, I know that. But she's always looking to them to make her happy. Because she couldn't be happy just being my mom." Maria dropped her eyes back to the ground, slightly embarrassed by her honesty. 

"And Valenti - and her. My mother and Valenti. The man who went out of his way to terrify me. She'd rather spend her night with him than me." She rolled her eyes skyward. "Do you know that she didn't even remember that today was my day off? I always have Tuesday off. For over a year, I've had Tuesdays off. She just doesn't know me. Maybe she doesn't want to..." 

Michael watched as a tear fell down her cheek, glistening light from the street lamp. He stepped in, studying her reaction to see what he should do next. She didn't move, but looked directly into his eyes. Without breaking their gaze, he pulled her close and pressed his lips against her forehead. His arms slid around her back. Maria sank into his chest and sighed. Her hands reached up and pulled him closer. "Don't go," she whispered. 

*** 

Closing the door quietly, Maria tried to slip up the stairs inconspicuously. She had made it about halfway up when her mother came into the living room. 

"Maria?" 

The girl thumped down two steps. "Yup. It's me." 

Amy DeLuca put her hands in her pockets. "Where were you?" 

"Oh, you know, around. I was at Liz's and the Crashdown. Around." Maria ran her hand up and down the banister. 

Her mother looked confused. "But, Liz called a little while ago." Jim Valenti came in and stood next to Amy. He made Maria nervous just by being there. She flashed back to that day in his office. 

"Yeah, well, I ran into Alex downstairs, and I was hanging out with him. Liz had some stuff to do." She hurriedly explained. 

"Oh, ok!" Her mother bobbed her head. "As long as you had a good time." 

"I did." Maria faked a yawn. "I'm so sleepy, so gonna go to bed. 'Night." She flew up the stairs without waiting for a response. 

* 

The window was already open when she got into her room. Maria peered out, but she couldn't see Michael standing below like he was supposed to. She exhaled sadly. He had gone home. She didn't blame him, really. It was creepy enough for her to have Valenti in her house, she could only imagine what it would feel like for Michael to be so close to the man who so badly wanted to get something, anything on him. 

"Hey." 

Maria nearly slammed her head into the window pane. "Stop that," she spat through gritted teeth. "You scared me." 

"Sorry," Michael said, sitting on the bed. "I saw Valenti through the kitchen window, and when he left the room, I climbed up. Figured that it was best not to take the chance of him seeing me when they returned." 

"Makes sense," she agreed. "But stop sneaking up on me." She walked over and locked her door. 

Michael leaned back against her pillows and brought his feet up. "But I like scaring you. Let's face it, you don't put up much of a challenge." 

Maria stuck her tongue out at him and kicked her shoes off, then turned on the television. Joining him on the bed, she grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels. Annoyed by her indecisiveness, Michael took it away from her and put it on the Discovery channel. Maria folded her arms in resignation and closed her eyes. She drifted off listening to a documentary on the mating rituals of sea snails. 

** Maria stretched out and reached for the blanket. The room had gotten colder as the hours passed and her sweater was no longer enough. Patting the bed, her sleepy daze threatened to be broken by the elusive quilt. She pulled her hand back, running it over Michael's chest. Shocked by the realization, Maria yanked her hand back to her body and lay perfectly still. He was sleeping soundly, and it didn't seem as if her motion had stirred him. She looked over her shoulder and saw that the window was still open. Conscientious of every movement, Maria sat up and walked over to the window to close it. On her way back, she grabbed a blanket off her chair and wrapped it around her. 

"Hey," Michael said, not moving. 

Maria cringed. "Oh, I woke you up. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." 

"No worry, I'm a light sleeper." He turned his head to look at her. "I should probably get going anyway." 

"No - you don't have to. Really." She sat on the bed next to him. 

Michael turned on his side and smiled. "Well, if you had another blanket... or are you going to give me that one?" 

"Oh, you think you're going to get it so easily? I don't think so," Maria snickered, pulling the fleece tighter around herself. "Mmm... I'm so nice and toasty warm," she cooed. 

Michael dragged her down so that she was lying next to him. He paused, looking to see where her hands were hidden. Maria started giggling beneath him as he tried to wrench the fabric from her grip. His fingers grazed her side, causing her to cry out in tickled anguish. 

"Shh..." Michael whispered teasingly, his lips hovering above hers. "You don't want to wake your mother - make her think that you're up to no good." 

Feeling his body so close, his breath so warm, Maria couldn't concentrate. She let go of the blanket and reached up for him, tangling her hands in his hair, drawing him to her lips. He kissed her hard, urgently, to make up for lost time. The fabric fell free, giving him greater access to her lithe body. He grasped her hip, massaging it firmly in time with their kisses. The chill from the night air was still in the room, but she seemed to be warming his body from the inside out. 

Maria slid her hand to his neck and stroked it softly. She ran her thumb against the edge of his jaw. Michael broke away and littered kisses across her cheeks and down towards her throat. Maria moaned quietly, then edged herself up so that her lips could follow the same trail her thumb had just marked. Planting small kisses along his neck, she rolled Michael onto his back. His strong hands held her in place, then made their way up her sides pausing right below her breasts. 

She could feel Michael growing harder beneath her. Maria bit his earlobe playfully, smug from the reaction that she was getting from him. Michael tried to sit up, inadvertently reaching for her breasts to steady himself. She inhaled sharply, both surprised and pleased by his touch. Afraid that he had taken things too far too soon, he immediately moved his hands back down to her waist. 

"Michael," Maria murmured pleadingly. 

Michael sat back and fingered the bottom of her sweater. He looked into Maria's eyes to make sure that she was on the same page that he was. She lifted her arms and he pulled it off in one move. There she sat, straddling him, clad in jeans and a skimpy tank top. He pushed the straps down off her shoulders and kissed her across her chest. Maria pressed against him, her soft skin beckoning his return. Michael slid the top over her head and paused for a second, breathing heavily against her stomach. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing, rocking back and forth slowly. 

She ran her fingers up under his t-shirt, surprised at how thin it was. The tip of her tongue traveled a steady line up from his shoulder blade towards his mouth. Thrusting it past his lips, she yanked Michael's shirt up, separating from him only to pull it up over his head. She pressed him into the bed, then started to make her way down. Michael's hunger grew with every small kiss down his chest, and every touch of her breasts against his stomach. He closed his eyes and tried to control his urges, but the feel of her tongue hovering above his waistband threatened to break down all his self-imposed barriers. Michael knew that if things went even a tiny step further, he wouldn't be able to stop the insatiable passion from rushing in and enveloping them both. The fact that they were getting physical again was beginning to cause doubts in him, and he couldn't bear to be the next one to hurt Maria tonight, or ever. 

Maria's hands began to unbutton the top of his jeans, while her lips still sent shivers of pleasure through Michael's body. He moaned, letting himself enjoy them for a moment, before regaining control. 

"Wait." 

Maria looked up at him lustfully. "I don't want to wait," she said in a husky voice. 

Michael placed his hand over hers, and sat up. "No, really. Stop. We can't do this." 

Maria's face dropped. She sat back on her heels and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "God, I'm so stupid. I fell for it again." She closed her eyes and shook her head. 

"Please, no. It's not that," he tried to explain. 

"What is it, then?" She snapped at him, hoping her anger would scare away her tears. "I wasn't good enough this time? Or am I only good for saving your life, and not actually being with you?" Her words were full of rage. 

Anything he said would come out wrong and only succeed in hurting her more. Michael quickly ran through his options. He thought of leaving, but that would only make Maria miserable, and wouldn't solve anything. Neither would kissing her, although his body was trying to convince him that was the way to go. He decided to sit and wait, let her make the decision. If Maria wanted him to go, he would. That's what he had told her earlier, that he would stay as long as she wanted him to. Michael looked toward the girl at the end of the bed, hoping for a sign. She wasn't looking at him. He went to touch her, but she turned her body away from him sharply. 

"No. You're good enough for everything. I just... I just don't want this to be about... well, this." He said softly. 

Her burning eyes returned to him, and he winced from the pain he knew he caused her. "About this? About what? Since you think you know me so well, tell me. I'm dying to know." 

Michael looked away from her for a moment, then met her stare. "I don't want it to be about today - tonight. I know that you are upset, I know that you are feeling lonely and apart. It's not fair for me to let you get into this when you are clouded by your emotions." 

Maria's jaw dropped, and she gasped in disbelief. Standing up, she snatched her top from the floor and put it back on. "Wow, well, aren't you the self-deluded one. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you are not my protector and I am quite capable of making my own decisions." She threw him his shirt. "And since you have proven that you don't know a damn thing about me, or what 'this is about,' I want you to leave." Maria walked over to the window and opened it. "Now." 

Michael lowered his head shamefully and started to get dressed. He grabbed his jacket from the chair and stood next to Maria. He looked out the window towards the ground, and so many thoughts hit him at once. That if he left, it was all over - there would be no chance of even a friendship between them. That in some way, he needed her - and while he'd rather kiss Valenti than admit it out loud, Michael knew that deep in his soul. That maybe she was right, he didn't know her as well as he thought he did, but that there were parts of her he knew very well. That he wasn't going to leave her like this, at least without finding out what, for her, it was 'about.' 

Standing up, Michael pressed the one advantage he still had. Their proximity. Maria was never able to control herself completely when he was so near - either lashing out angrily or kissing him hungrily. Right now the passion was still heavy in the room. Michael knew that he could use that to keep her from kicking him out of her life completely. She looked up at him as he moved closer, stopping when there were just inches between their bodies. Maria stepped back into the wall for support. 

"Tell me." 

"What?" Maria asked breathlessly. 

For the moment, it was working. Michael leaned his arm against the wall next to her head. "Tell me what it's about. Please." 

It was the 'please' that got to Maria. Her eyes filled tears and she blinked them away. "How could you think I would jump into bed with just anyone because I was feeling lonely? I wouldn't do that. I thought you knew me better than that." She almost choked on the last words. 

Michael brushed her hair behind one ear. "Tell me," he repeated tenderly. 

"You know," she smiled, "When you aren't being completely unpredictable, or a complete jerk to me... I mean, oh God, how can I say this? I know it sounds strange, but you are one of the most stable things in my life." A few tears rolled down her cheeks. "It's like, whenever my life has hit some kind of horrendous low point, you are always there to cheer me up, albeit in the oddest of ways." Maria laughed in spite of herself. "I love Liz and Alex, don't get me wrong. They are wonderful friends. But lately... well, I guess it's just that, when I'm dealing with something other than my heart being trampled on by Michael Guerin - and that tends to happen a lot - you are the one I want to be around. You are the one I am thankful for. You are the one I trust." 

The shock hit Michael all at once and nearly bowled him over. It was taking all of his strength to stay planted in one spot. Maria's words echoed in his head: 'stable,' 'thankful,' 'trust.' They repeated and swirled so rapidly that he was beginning to feel dizzy. He needed to touch her, hold her, feel her, but most of all, he needed to sit down. Michael fixed his gaze into her eyes and willed his body to stay standing. He cupped her face in his hands and delicately brushed his fingers against her cheeks. 

Maria relaxed at his touch and placed her hands over his. "So, so that's what this is about. It's about me needing a friend, and you being the friend I need. It's about me needing you, and you letting me. And it's about so much more than a bad day and feeling lonely. It's about us. It always has been." 

"Maria," he whispered, his lips nearly on hers. It was the first time that he had spoken her name all day, and it was the only thing that she had to hear. She stepped in and pressed her body against his. Instantly the images started. They flashed in rapid succession, but it was his thoughts and feelings about those scenes that held a bigger impact for Maria. Between the intensity of emotion in the room and their close proximity, Michael had unwittingly created 'a connection' between them. 

//Michael walks past the Crashdown and sees Liz talking to Maria. He stands at the window for a moment and catches Maria's eye.// That girl again, Michael noticed her as he was walking past the diner. He paused and watched her, trying to discern why exactly Isabel was hellbent on keeping her in a constant state of fear. In all honesty, he was a little impressed. Isabel could be quite the formidable foe, and Liz's friend had yet to come unglued. Then she looked up at him and shuddered. Michael sighed and moved on. It wouldn't be the first time he was wrong about someone. 

//School. Michael walks down the hallway and runs into Maria. She grabs him by the arm and refuses to let him walk away from her.// He is confused, thrown by his own actions and now having to deal with the consequences of them. Maria stands in from of him, now the one in control of the situation. He snaps at her and tries to leave when she grabs him by the arm. Her touch sends a shockwave through his body - Michael takes a breath and composes himself. It wasn't often that someone touched him, and even less that it was someone other than Max or Isabel. 

//Night. It's unbearably hot, and Michael feels the need to get out of his house. He heads out without a set destination, but something keeps drawing him to it. Finally he stops in town, in front of the Crashdown. Maria sees him outside, and meets his gaze. She walks to the door and unlocks it, a silent invitation which he accepts.// This time she initiated the contact, reaching up around his neck as he stood in front of her. Michael waited, slightly on edge, making sure that his desire was reciprocated. His lips met hers - her delicious full lips - lips that he'd been thinking about since that night in the café. Faster and faster, voracious kisses followed one another until they could barely stand to be apart from one another. Maria hopped up into his arms, and Michael pulled her in as tightly as humanly possible. As alienly possible. He tried to find a way to hold her even closer while covering her body in kisses. Michael ran his hand down the length of her body, knowing full well that this was something he never wanted to leave. 

//Maria stands in front of him at the rave, confronting him about his avoidance. He watches her eyes well as he tells her that he should have never started anything with her.// Once again, she's confronted him. With everything, she never seemed to be afraid of him - not to yell at him or, more importantly, touch him. Almost immediately he considered backtracking on his decision to leave her. But he had already done the thing he feared most - hurt her by simply being who he was. Max had tried convince him that getting too close was a bad idea, how was Michael supposed to tell him that he already was? But like almost always he deferred to Max, and rationalized that breaking it all off now would be easier for everyone. It wasn't as if he had actually gotten used to someone wondering where he was, asking what his plans were, wanting to spend time with him - someone... caring. No, no... she would be better off without him. Michael glanced over one more time and then looked away. He couldn't bear to watch her go. 

He was equally terrified and calmed by Maria. Her recent admission unsettled his balance even more. He had spent the last ten years becoming as self-sufficient as possible - his only ties being to Isabel and Max, although there were good reasons for that. In the past few months, Michael could tell that he was getting attached to more than just them, and he knew that attachments always led to pain and disappointment, in addition to making it difficult to leave at a moment's notice. 

Michael started to tremble in her arms. Part of him wanted to drop his hands and get out of the room, but it was the way that Maria looked back at him that kept him there. He felt more of his barriers break and let her in. Let her understand a little more about what was going on in his head. Things that he could never say to her, things that he had rarely spoken to Max about. She trusted him, and it was his way of feeling worthy of her trust. He heard her words again - 'stable' and 'thankful.' Michael didn't know the last time someone was actually thankful for him. Maybe Isabel, she seemed to understand him a little better than Max did. Isabel could get just as fixated on one thing, determined to see it through. But Michael always felt that he needed them more than they needed him. 

Here, now, was this girl in front of him who needed him. And he wanted to be needed - by her. Michael had almost laughed when Maria said 'stable.' That was a word never spoken in the same breath as his name. But he knew she meant it, every single word. Michael held her face firmly and leaned down, kissing her. For as many kisses as they had exchanged, this one managed to stand apart from them all. It still maintained the same fiery passion as the ones before, but this time there was something stronger between them. A little bit of the wall had come down on both sides and they each flowed into the other a bit more freely. It seemed to be eons before they stopped to breathe, which only happened because rational thought had taken over for a brief moment. 

Neither Michael nor Maria felt the loss of air. 


End file.
